HaroldBishop
Megalodon
Mate that's horrible to hear, I can't imagine how hard it must be for you.
Life can be an absolute bitch sometimes.
If there's anything any of us can do, please don't be afraid to ask.
On the bold bit, 100% agree with you.
Official Mens' Room
- Thread starter BurgoShark
- Start date
Life can be an absolute bitch sometimes.
If there's anything any of us can do, please don't be afraid to ask.
On the bold bit, 100% agree with you.
BurgoShark
Super Moderator
- Joined
- Apr 8, 2008
- Messages
- 12,868
- Reaction score
- 4,097
Hey Guys - below is not really a problem I need help with, but sometimes it just feels good to say/type stuff to get it off your chest. Was originally going to have a conversation directly with @Sir Chadley about this, because we have boys close in age and have had some similar conversations in the past. I thought afterwards that there might be others who would benefit from hearing/reading my story.
Very brief background for those who don't know me... I coached junior footy for several years across a couple of different clubs. During that time I had several run-ins with club and league people, specifically around player safety (duty of care) and prioritising player involvement/development over winning games. I also coached my son and quite a few of the friends he has known since he was in kindy.
This story is specifically about my experience coaching my son, what I learned from it, and what became of it.
Coaching your own child
When you sign up to coach your own kid, you pin a target on yourself. Every dodgy decision every other father-coach has made in the past is hanging in the air, and parents are waiting for an opportunity to tar you with that brush. I made a few conscious decisions the day I put my hand up to coach:
1) Every child plays at least half the game (which is also a league rule for u12 down) and at they get on the field in both halves
2) The players who attend training the most will be the ones who play more than this
3) Key positions will be played by the players with the best attendance
4) The opportunity to play key positions will be offered to all of the best trainers
5) If my son ever misses training in game week because he is sick/injured, he's on the bench (even if that's the only session he's missed all year)
6) Weaker players don't get hidden on the wing.
With this, I also prioritised ball movement and player involvement over scoring points (I would rather see a 6-pass movement where we got pushed in to touch than a 1m try from dummy half). If we were going to win games, we were going to do it with contributions from everyone rather than by riding our best players.
My coaching career started with something like 8 consecutive losses, and we played the better teams we got pumped. I did all sorts of whacky stuff that parents hated, like playing big kids in the halves (everyone should learn to pass in game situations), playing without a fullback (everyone should learn to defend in a line) and making the kid who only ever played dummy half spend time as a running forward (everyone should learn how to catch and run). By the end of the year we were competitive against most teams and we we moving the ball around more than any team I'd seen that age. We didn't have any fast kids, so we'd rarely score runaway tries - but we made plenty of breaks from good ball movement.
In that year and the couple following years all of this whacky stuff extended to my own son. He literally played every position, started games from the bench and regularly came off during games. He spent plenty of time playing in key positions - but often more out of necessity than design (injuries etc,). The way we played though, "key position" doesn't mean "throwing the kid a bib". I worked out a way to play which shared the passing load around between a few players.
I'm proud to say that across those three "bib footy years" I was able to achieve all of my goals. There were some exceptions that were out of my control (player gets injured in-game or turns up late so can't get half a game) but outside of that I stuck to my plan 100%. Once we got out of bib footy, my son was almost always on the field - but that was because we were struggling for numbers, so game time was never an issue for anyone in that team,
This was a massive undertaking away from the field. The standard attitude for coaches at this age level is to identify your best 3-4 candidates to be the ballplayers, and share the responsibilities between them across the season depending on who turns up. I took the view that because I'm just some dude and not an elite-level talent scout with magical predictive powers, I don't know who the best candidate to play in the halves (or anywhere for that matter) will be 7 years from now when the games matter, so as long as they turn up to training, listen and don't stuff around... they are all going to be offered an opportunity to be a ball-player. I had to re-invent the way we played so that we could train a new half every second week and still play the same way. It was time-consuming and difficult - but very rewarding to see in action.
The best passer was my son, and the team performed much better when he played in a ball-playing role than when he didn't - but he still spent his fair share of time on the wing and in other spots, sat on the bench, or played a supporting role for someone new (one time he played wing and spent half a game hovering behind the play directing the game ball-player where to go. He didn't touch the ball the entire time but had a huge positive impact on that kid).
This did not however stop me from taking my fair share of heat from some parents about my bias towards my own kid. I was accused of playing him at too many minutes, of not giving other kids the opportunity to play his position, and so on. All nonsense which I could back up with detailed records, but whenever this discussion happened it wasn't because the parent was looking to talk about the facts. They just want to see you as that guy who thinks his son is s superstar and builds the team around him.
Balanced with this was that one of the bigger critics of our playing style was my own wife. She said that before I coached the team our son stood out, was the leading try-scorer, and everyone said he was the best player - but now he hardly ever scores tries, she doesn't notice him making any stand out plays anymore, and there are half a dozen other kids everyone raves about. The thing is... I already knew he could run the ball hard and beat tackles - but my job as his coach wasn't to make him do what he is already good at. It was to make him get better at the things he isn't already good at... and to help the other kids learn. The best players in team sport at any level are the ones who know that helping your teammates is part of the job description.
Player Development
Along with everything I spoke about above with regard to development, game time and opportunities in different situations, there were also some key development principles that I took on board the day I became a coach:
1) I can't tell which of these players will be good later
2) Every year is a clean slate for every position
3) The kids who are the biggest today probably won't have that advantage forever
4) While having fit players is good, having self-motivated young men is better
For coaching young kids you need to actively avoid the "rich getting richer" (Pygmalion Effect / Matthew Effect). If a player did a great job at hooker for you last year that is great. Maybe he can do it again... or maybe some other kid will benefit from time spent there and that first kid will learn more doing something else this year, or splitting his time While it seems intuitive to identify that player's "best position" and reinforce it... getting in an extra coach to do special dummy half training with just that kid is unequivocally the wrong thing to do. Sure - if dummy half service is a team issue then you address it... but you run that training for a group of players (or all players). Not just for the one who is best at it today or whose body-shape suits that role for the upcoming season.
I am also very proud to say that I have never instructed a team to run a lap, do a burpee or sprint up a hill. I got a lot of heat for "not doing fitness" and actually had parents pull kids from the team because of it, but once again this was a deliberate and planned approach. I spent hours designing training sessions around minimising "stand and wait" time, maximising time spent moving, and introducing "get down on the ground and get back up again" as many times as possible - especially for the bigger boys. My players were completely gassed at the end of most sessions - and they got fitter without ever having run a lap (or realising that tonight was a "fitness night). Parents want to see laps though...
The benefit of this approach are many and varied. Firstly, I don't burn a training night running laps when we could be learning something with footy in hand, and I don't risk the lazy kids skipping the fitness night. Secondly, the kids also get a lot of their footy skills training under fatigue, so they both get to practice in that situation, and I get to see where they cut corners or make errors when they are tired. The biggest reason though, is that all of the research tells you not to...
Any teenager can be driven to training by his mum and run laps, and while this might make them fitter and help you win games - it won't make them better players. What will make them better players is developing the intrinsic motivation to take it on themselves to get fitter and stronger without their mum, dad, coach or school making them do it or looking over their shoulder. This is something that kicks in at different ages for different kids, but if they are going to be a good footy player later in life they need to have it. Making players run laps doesn't develop this. You get it by loving/understanding the game and grasping the idea that being fitter and stronger will make you a better player (and possibly give you an advantage over someone else).
Again it is all about making better players. Not winning footy games.
Get to the ****ing Point Burgo
So how does all of this relate specifically to my son?
When you coach your own son you also wonder whether you are over-valuing his contribution. In my time coaching I think his fundamental skills are the best I've ever coached, objectively his work rate is far above most of his peers, and I think he has potential to play at least a junior rep comp when he is older (Qld version of Harold Mats / SG Ball). That he is even a top 5 player on his own middle-of-the-road team definitely wasn't a universally held view though, even among my own club, other coaches, or my assistant coaches. You ask yourself things like am I over-looking some negatives in his game to hype up the positives? Am I over-valuing the things he does well compared to what other players are doing well? Are other people not seeing it, or am I wrong and everyone else is on the ball?
Since I've stopped coaching he finished out the back end of last year (only 2-3 games) and this year has moved back to his old team where he knows quite a few kids. He has started doing gym and running and swimming on his own, and has joined two other sports teams at school. He rides himself to training sometimes or gets himself there direct from school, always gets to training half an hour early, and kicks goals after. When do drive him to footy, he is hovering around well before I am ready, fully dressed and jumping out of his skin. No carrot or stick required.
Suffice to say that the intrinsic motivation has kicked in. That doesn't mean he is going to be a superstar. It just means that he has taken a really important step in his development. It's on him from here.
His team played their first trial on the weekend. Opposition was a decent level but likely also had their own fair share of newbies cycling through. The coach started with his "best 13" from last year and ran them for most of the first half - with mostly new kids playing the whole second half.
So anyway... "best 13" is down 10-0 at halftime. Here is the rundown of relevant second half events...
- first set young Burgo hit-up on his own 10. Breaks line. Runs 90m to score. Kicks goal from in front
- next set young Burgo kicks to a corner, leads the chase, forces an error.
- ensuing set young Burgo runs a line, beats two defenders, draws in a third, puts the winger over in the corner, kicks goal from the side-line
- next set young Burgo kicks to a corner and pins the opposition 10m out
- teammates give up back to back penalties, then soft try under the posts. Down 16-12
- next possession get a penalty on full time siren. Two passes wide to young Burgo, who breaks line, gets ankle tapped from behind, offloads to un-marked centre with the line wide open... who drops it cold.
It would have been nice to see him have that kick to win it, but there are no parades for winning trial games.
While some will see this as a bit of a brag (maybe it is) it's an important closure for me personally. He is objectively a good player. He is driven and motivated to play the sport, and can excel under a new coach with unfamiliar teammates, limited opportunities, and against solid opposition.
To get to this level he didn't have to run laps, get custom training in his position, join a rep program, go to a footy school or (in my opinion) have has Dad give him priority treatment or pump up his tyres. He might need some of those things to get noticed one day, but he didn't need them to be good.
Now if I can just get him to rinse out his Weetbix bowl and take the wheelie bin out without it feeling like a hostage negotiation - things will be great.
*
Thanks to everyone who read right through. Feels good to brain dump.
Very brief background for those who don't know me... I coached junior footy for several years across a couple of different clubs. During that time I had several run-ins with club and league people, specifically around player safety (duty of care) and prioritising player involvement/development over winning games. I also coached my son and quite a few of the friends he has known since he was in kindy.
This story is specifically about my experience coaching my son, what I learned from it, and what became of it.
Coaching your own child
When you sign up to coach your own kid, you pin a target on yourself. Every dodgy decision every other father-coach has made in the past is hanging in the air, and parents are waiting for an opportunity to tar you with that brush. I made a few conscious decisions the day I put my hand up to coach:
1) Every child plays at least half the game (which is also a league rule for u12 down) and at they get on the field in both halves
2) The players who attend training the most will be the ones who play more than this
3) Key positions will be played by the players with the best attendance
4) The opportunity to play key positions will be offered to all of the best trainers
5) If my son ever misses training in game week because he is sick/injured, he's on the bench (even if that's the only session he's missed all year)
6) Weaker players don't get hidden on the wing.
With this, I also prioritised ball movement and player involvement over scoring points (I would rather see a 6-pass movement where we got pushed in to touch than a 1m try from dummy half). If we were going to win games, we were going to do it with contributions from everyone rather than by riding our best players.
My coaching career started with something like 8 consecutive losses, and we played the better teams we got pumped. I did all sorts of whacky stuff that parents hated, like playing big kids in the halves (everyone should learn to pass in game situations), playing without a fullback (everyone should learn to defend in a line) and making the kid who only ever played dummy half spend time as a running forward (everyone should learn how to catch and run). By the end of the year we were competitive against most teams and we we moving the ball around more than any team I'd seen that age. We didn't have any fast kids, so we'd rarely score runaway tries - but we made plenty of breaks from good ball movement.
In that year and the couple following years all of this whacky stuff extended to my own son. He literally played every position, started games from the bench and regularly came off during games. He spent plenty of time playing in key positions - but often more out of necessity than design (injuries etc,). The way we played though, "key position" doesn't mean "throwing the kid a bib". I worked out a way to play which shared the passing load around between a few players.
I'm proud to say that across those three "bib footy years" I was able to achieve all of my goals. There were some exceptions that were out of my control (player gets injured in-game or turns up late so can't get half a game) but outside of that I stuck to my plan 100%. Once we got out of bib footy, my son was almost always on the field - but that was because we were struggling for numbers, so game time was never an issue for anyone in that team,
This was a massive undertaking away from the field. The standard attitude for coaches at this age level is to identify your best 3-4 candidates to be the ballplayers, and share the responsibilities between them across the season depending on who turns up. I took the view that because I'm just some dude and not an elite-level talent scout with magical predictive powers, I don't know who the best candidate to play in the halves (or anywhere for that matter) will be 7 years from now when the games matter, so as long as they turn up to training, listen and don't stuff around... they are all going to be offered an opportunity to be a ball-player. I had to re-invent the way we played so that we could train a new half every second week and still play the same way. It was time-consuming and difficult - but very rewarding to see in action.
The best passer was my son, and the team performed much better when he played in a ball-playing role than when he didn't - but he still spent his fair share of time on the wing and in other spots, sat on the bench, or played a supporting role for someone new (one time he played wing and spent half a game hovering behind the play directing the game ball-player where to go. He didn't touch the ball the entire time but had a huge positive impact on that kid).
This did not however stop me from taking my fair share of heat from some parents about my bias towards my own kid. I was accused of playing him at too many minutes, of not giving other kids the opportunity to play his position, and so on. All nonsense which I could back up with detailed records, but whenever this discussion happened it wasn't because the parent was looking to talk about the facts. They just want to see you as that guy who thinks his son is s superstar and builds the team around him.
Balanced with this was that one of the bigger critics of our playing style was my own wife. She said that before I coached the team our son stood out, was the leading try-scorer, and everyone said he was the best player - but now he hardly ever scores tries, she doesn't notice him making any stand out plays anymore, and there are half a dozen other kids everyone raves about. The thing is... I already knew he could run the ball hard and beat tackles - but my job as his coach wasn't to make him do what he is already good at. It was to make him get better at the things he isn't already good at... and to help the other kids learn. The best players in team sport at any level are the ones who know that helping your teammates is part of the job description.
Player Development
Along with everything I spoke about above with regard to development, game time and opportunities in different situations, there were also some key development principles that I took on board the day I became a coach:
1) I can't tell which of these players will be good later
2) Every year is a clean slate for every position
3) The kids who are the biggest today probably won't have that advantage forever
4) While having fit players is good, having self-motivated young men is better
For coaching young kids you need to actively avoid the "rich getting richer" (Pygmalion Effect / Matthew Effect). If a player did a great job at hooker for you last year that is great. Maybe he can do it again... or maybe some other kid will benefit from time spent there and that first kid will learn more doing something else this year, or splitting his time While it seems intuitive to identify that player's "best position" and reinforce it... getting in an extra coach to do special dummy half training with just that kid is unequivocally the wrong thing to do. Sure - if dummy half service is a team issue then you address it... but you run that training for a group of players (or all players). Not just for the one who is best at it today or whose body-shape suits that role for the upcoming season.
I am also very proud to say that I have never instructed a team to run a lap, do a burpee or sprint up a hill. I got a lot of heat for "not doing fitness" and actually had parents pull kids from the team because of it, but once again this was a deliberate and planned approach. I spent hours designing training sessions around minimising "stand and wait" time, maximising time spent moving, and introducing "get down on the ground and get back up again" as many times as possible - especially for the bigger boys. My players were completely gassed at the end of most sessions - and they got fitter without ever having run a lap (or realising that tonight was a "fitness night). Parents want to see laps though...
The benefit of this approach are many and varied. Firstly, I don't burn a training night running laps when we could be learning something with footy in hand, and I don't risk the lazy kids skipping the fitness night. Secondly, the kids also get a lot of their footy skills training under fatigue, so they both get to practice in that situation, and I get to see where they cut corners or make errors when they are tired. The biggest reason though, is that all of the research tells you not to...
Any teenager can be driven to training by his mum and run laps, and while this might make them fitter and help you win games - it won't make them better players. What will make them better players is developing the intrinsic motivation to take it on themselves to get fitter and stronger without their mum, dad, coach or school making them do it or looking over their shoulder. This is something that kicks in at different ages for different kids, but if they are going to be a good footy player later in life they need to have it. Making players run laps doesn't develop this. You get it by loving/understanding the game and grasping the idea that being fitter and stronger will make you a better player (and possibly give you an advantage over someone else).
Again it is all about making better players. Not winning footy games.
Get to the ****ing Point Burgo
So how does all of this relate specifically to my son?
When you coach your own son you also wonder whether you are over-valuing his contribution. In my time coaching I think his fundamental skills are the best I've ever coached, objectively his work rate is far above most of his peers, and I think he has potential to play at least a junior rep comp when he is older (Qld version of Harold Mats / SG Ball). That he is even a top 5 player on his own middle-of-the-road team definitely wasn't a universally held view though, even among my own club, other coaches, or my assistant coaches. You ask yourself things like am I over-looking some negatives in his game to hype up the positives? Am I over-valuing the things he does well compared to what other players are doing well? Are other people not seeing it, or am I wrong and everyone else is on the ball?
Since I've stopped coaching he finished out the back end of last year (only 2-3 games) and this year has moved back to his old team where he knows quite a few kids. He has started doing gym and running and swimming on his own, and has joined two other sports teams at school. He rides himself to training sometimes or gets himself there direct from school, always gets to training half an hour early, and kicks goals after. When do drive him to footy, he is hovering around well before I am ready, fully dressed and jumping out of his skin. No carrot or stick required.
Suffice to say that the intrinsic motivation has kicked in. That doesn't mean he is going to be a superstar. It just means that he has taken a really important step in his development. It's on him from here.
His team played their first trial on the weekend. Opposition was a decent level but likely also had their own fair share of newbies cycling through. The coach started with his "best 13" from last year and ran them for most of the first half - with mostly new kids playing the whole second half.
So anyway... "best 13" is down 10-0 at halftime. Here is the rundown of relevant second half events...
- first set young Burgo hit-up on his own 10. Breaks line. Runs 90m to score. Kicks goal from in front
- next set young Burgo kicks to a corner, leads the chase, forces an error.
- ensuing set young Burgo runs a line, beats two defenders, draws in a third, puts the winger over in the corner, kicks goal from the side-line
- next set young Burgo kicks to a corner and pins the opposition 10m out
- teammates give up back to back penalties, then soft try under the posts. Down 16-12
- next possession get a penalty on full time siren. Two passes wide to young Burgo, who breaks line, gets ankle tapped from behind, offloads to un-marked centre with the line wide open... who drops it cold.
It would have been nice to see him have that kick to win it, but there are no parades for winning trial games.
While some will see this as a bit of a brag (maybe it is) it's an important closure for me personally. He is objectively a good player. He is driven and motivated to play the sport, and can excel under a new coach with unfamiliar teammates, limited opportunities, and against solid opposition.
To get to this level he didn't have to run laps, get custom training in his position, join a rep program, go to a footy school or (in my opinion) have has Dad give him priority treatment or pump up his tyres. He might need some of those things to get noticed one day, but he didn't need them to be good.
Now if I can just get him to rinse out his Weetbix bowl and take the wheelie bin out without it feeling like a hostage negotiation - things will be great.
*
Thanks to everyone who read right through. Feels good to brain dump.
Sir Chadley
Jaws
@BurgoShark
I have skimmed this at the moment but when I get more time I’ll read it through more thoroughly and compare notes.
The only issue we’re going to have in comparing our sons is we play different sports so some bits may be different and much harder for you.
Will come back with more shortly.
I have skimmed this at the moment but when I get more time I’ll read it through more thoroughly and compare notes.
The only issue we’re going to have in comparing our sons is we play different sports so some bits may be different and much harder for you.
Will come back with more shortly.
BurgoShark
Super Moderator
- Joined
- Apr 8, 2008
- Messages
- 12,868
- Reaction score
- 4,097
It's teenagers mate. The sport itself isn't really so important - except maybe the stuff around positions.
Main thing is that you and I have spoken about the boys having the ability but not necessarily the aspiration to play at a higher level.
Aspiration without intrinsic motivation doesn't mean anything. I can aspire to be an astronaut, but that won't help me unless I'm willing to work my ass off when nobody else is watching to make it happen. When your teenage athlete starts doing this... it means something.
Last edited:
BurgoShark
Super Moderator
- Joined
- Apr 8, 2008
- Messages
- 12,868
- Reaction score
- 4,097
The other thing is that at times this has not just been the men’s room, but the dads room.
There are plenty of Dads on here. I’m sure there will be a lot of worry about their kids’ performance/progress/aspirations in sport.
I’ve lived all sides of this. Player, coach, parent.
At the end of the day, how good you were on gameday between 7 and 15 means zero. How hard you work after that means a lot.
As the parent of a sports kid you are going to be sucked in to the idea that a better school/club will make them better, or that making a rep team at 11 means something. It’s all bullshit. The important thing is that they play lots of minutes in lots of different situations. Nobody gets better pinned to the bench. Don’t bother driving across town so they can be in the gun team and play 10 minutes.
There are plenty of Dads on here. I’m sure there will be a lot of worry about their kids’ performance/progress/aspirations in sport.
I’ve lived all sides of this. Player, coach, parent.
At the end of the day, how good you were on gameday between 7 and 15 means zero. How hard you work after that means a lot.
As the parent of a sports kid you are going to be sucked in to the idea that a better school/club will make them better, or that making a rep team at 11 means something. It’s all bullshit. The important thing is that they play lots of minutes in lots of different situations. Nobody gets better pinned to the bench. Don’t bother driving across town so they can be in the gun team and play 10 minutes.
Last edited:
Im no dad and have recently moved away from out of Sydney and am now close to Wagga for work. I have put my hand up to coach for the first time, for the junior team out here and am going into it with the same view as you, that player development at a young age is more important than tries. In saying that the team ill be coaching isn't playing for points or premierships. I think if points were on offer id probably approach it differently and try to win first then share the love.
Either way I'm excited for the challenge and already know I won't be able to keep everyone happy and I think being independent to the team will make that easier. All parents have an opinion on how to coach but only the brave actually put their hand up, good luck to your son
Either way I'm excited for the challenge and already know I won't be able to keep everyone happy and I think being independent to the team will make that easier. All parents have an opinion on how to coach but only the brave actually put their hand up, good luck to your son
BurgoShark
Super Moderator
- Joined
- Apr 8, 2008
- Messages
- 12,868
- Reaction score
- 4,097
Good on you mate. What age?
Western Sharkie
Jaws
All I want to say is that we are here for you mate.
Reach out in need to any of us (I’m sure we would all be willing to lend an ear if YOU want to talk to someone).
Flanno
Great White
- Joined
- Mar 10, 2013
- Messages
- 4,959
- Reaction score
- 1,126
Touche! I have nothing but respect for the parents (and non parents) that do it. It’s a big commitment, requiring a lot of time and sacrifice, and not a lot put their hand up for it.
I’ve only got one kid at this stage and she’s not even 1 yet but I hope to coach in the future (probably in soccer though).
I’d like to think now there is more work from home arrangements that more parents would put their hands up but then again volunteering in Australia is dropping so probably not. @BurgoShark @Sir Chadley have you noticed a shift in the past few years with more parents getting involved in putting their hand up?
BurgoShark
Super Moderator
- Joined
- Apr 8, 2008
- Messages
- 12,868
- Reaction score
- 4,097
No way. My experience is that parents will do the least possible and take any out given.
I don’t know if it is the area I live in, or the sport, or just the times. In my experience a lot of RL parents don’t give a ****. They won’t answer a text, bring their kids to training, turn up on time for games or attend team meetings, but they’ll happily send you a nasty message on a random Tuesday.
For every hour I spent coaching, I spent another 4 chasing parents or driving kids around because their parents couldn’t be ****ed getting them there.
Imo there is a culture problem with Rugby League compared to other sports in terms of turning up and communicating. Maybe we set the bar too low, or maybe the blue collar reputation of the sport is to blame. I don’t know. I’m not a social scientist. What I do know is that compared to other sports RL attendance at training is ****ing atrocious..
Last edited:
HaroldBishop
Megalodon
This is the message we tell our boys. We don't care if they're not the best whether it's sport or academically. If we can see they're giving it their absolute best then to me they'll go further in life than kids who are talented but are lazy.
Six Again
Grey Nurse
If you haven't already then please ensure you or your sons are looking at any support services available , not only for your dear wife but importantly support for yourselves . e.g. https://www.dementia.org.au/support/family-and-carers
Western Sharkie
Jaws
100000%
Sir Chadley
Jaws
Mate, I’ve now had a chance to read through all of this now and yes despite us coaching different sports, there are plenty of similarities.
I’ll put my hand up and say I got it very wrong early on with my boy at cricket by thinking trying out for rep teams was the way to go. First rep trial we went to,(under 10s) my boy was showing some promise as a leg spinner, he bowled this for the entire season. Only problem was all he could bowl were wronguns, he couldn’t bowl the normal leg spinner. So next season he started bowling quicker and again I took him to rep trials. He hated it. There were kids that at even an early age could bat and bowl easily as well and he just didn’t get a look in.
The next season I was ready to take him to rep trials again because now he was really starting to bowl fast and with a genuine outswinger. But he refused to go. Made it very clear that he wasn’t interested and in the end I didn’t force him. I was disappointed because I could see he was a much better cricketer than I was at his age and I didn’t want him to waste that talent. But at this age, he had no desire whatsoever to play reps. I was having a conversation with Gavin Robertson one day on Talkin’ Sport and he very graciously gave me some off air advice. He was very concerned with burnout of young kids playing reps and he’s a real believer in it not being essential in order to play at a high level down the track. If you look closely, you’ll see many examples of players succeeding outside the rep scene, one main example springs to mind, one SK Warne. Robbo said he’d rather a kid play a level he’s comfortable with and let those in charge notice him from his on field results and performance.
My boy has just turned 14, so there’s plenty of time for him. He may yet come around to the notion of playing a higher level when he’s older, taller and stronger. With fast bowlers not peaking until mid 20s sometimes, he’s got plenty of time. The point is he needs to drive it now, not me. But I’ve let him know I’m there to support him if he decides to put in the hard yards.
I coached cricket teams for six years and when I haven’t coached I’ve still been heavily involved. I’ve been pretty lucky with parents I must say, I’ve only had issues with a handful in this time. It was when I was coaching soccer that I had the most trouble. It was like chalk and cheese. No matter how many times I asked parents to get their kids to the game 15 or 20 minutes before game time, it was staggering how many would rock up right on kick off time. Had a few do that in cricket too but a much smaller comparison. Luckily I’ve never had any heat from parents for any bias towards my son because in cricket especially the game formats in the early years arent set up to do that. In Under 14s we’re now looking at players specialising but there is still rotation of batting orders etc.
Now, having said all that, I’m now going to heap some dirt on my son’s current cricket coach. His son is a rep player and has been since the kid was 9. His appearance in rep teams though is all down to averages and making sure his son has the best average. How does he do this when we’re supposed to have squad rotation? He has him open the batting against the weaker teams. Against the stronger teams he’ll bat down the order. When he hits 50, he’ll retire him, no matter the situation in the game. This is so his score is a red ink and makes his average higher. The only problem here is that it will take him 130 balls or even more thus limiting other players from getting a bat. He’s also a very decent bowler, probably our fastest, but he won’t have him bowl when the top four are batting, unless it’s a weaker side. He comes on a little later and most times cleans up the tail.
A few parents have called him out on it but it hasn’t made him stop. Even the boys in the team are a wake up to it and talk about it among themselves. It’s just ridiculous.
Anyway, I have enjoyed my coaching but I don’t think I’ll be doing it anymore.
Jenni
Bull Shark
I always encouraged this in my 2 Daughters as they grew up.
MrDravid
Bull Shark
- Joined
- Apr 11, 2022
- Messages
- 2,396
- Reaction score
- 1,220
My eldest, just turned 11 has just finished his second season of u11s... best player in both years, but rep hasn't been mentioned. Just want him to enjoy playing.
At u11 level, everyone gets to face the same amount of balls (even if you get out) and everyone gets to bowl so haven't seen much in the way of players getting overlooked. He wants to play u13s next year, so I suspect there will start to be a bit of specialisation and it will be interesting to see how he goes with the step up.
HaroldBishop
Megalodon
What a complete tosser. I can't stand parents like this, it does my head in.
Tbh part of the reason why I coach soccer is because I'd rather hang out with the kids rather than the parents. Fortunately I've only had one incident so far.
My son will play junior cricket next season, fair chance I'll be coaching that as well.
Western Sharkie
Jaws
Last edited:
BurgoShark
Super Moderator
- Joined
- Apr 8, 2008
- Messages
- 12,868
- Reaction score
- 4,097
This is a wonderful idea.
BurgoShark
Super Moderator
- Joined
- Apr 8, 2008
- Messages
- 12,868
- Reaction score
- 4,097
Thanks for the detailed response mate.
FYI the NRL did a study a few years ago. Nearly half the players in the league up until 15 played no rep footy and were playing lower divs.
Rep and specialisation programs prior to 14/15 serve one purpose: to separate parents from their money.