Johnathan Thurston questions ability to lead North Queensland
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Johnathan Thurston questions ability to lead North Queensland
By Matt Marshall
July 01, 2010
Queensland halfback Johnathan Thurston admits he has questioned his ability to captain North Queensland Cowboys amid a harrowing search for answers to arrest another sickly season in Townsville.
Slaughtered 58-12 by Melbourne Storm in round 15, the 15th-placed Cowboys were playing for pride at Dairy Farmers Stadium last Saturday night, but sunk to a gut-wrenching extra-time loss to battling Cronulla.
Thurston's missed golden-point penalty goal attempt drove the final nail in his club's coffin, but his anguish extends beyond the haunting miss he describes as "bread-and-butter stuff".
Bunkered down in camp ahead of Wednesday night's Origin III clash in Sydney, the crestfallen dual Dally M Medal winner revealed the extent of the soul-searching he has undertaken over the past fortnight.
The Test halfback, who has led the Cowboys since 2007, has even doubted whether he or his leadership is a problem - with the harsh self-examination sparked by the fact it was an Origin-depleted Cowboys outfit that secured the club's last win.
"You do question it," Thurston said.
"They had a very good win against Canberra while we were in camp. You come back with the boys and Melbourne put 50 on you.
"It's a pretty lonely time. It's embarrassing. Then you have a heartbreaking loss to make it worse. It does play on your emotions, that's for sure. It plays with your head.
"You just don't want to be seen around anyone. It's tough. I've obviously been kicking stones. It was a tough night at the office.
"It's good to be in camp now. It's such a positive vibe and energy, it's just great to be back around the boys.
"It's the highs and lows of footy - going from one extreme to the other. You have such an enjoyable week, you're on such a high from an Origin win, you try to take all that positive energy back to your club and perform accordingly.
"You pride yourself on backing up for your club after a rep game.
"Personally, my performances after Origin have been pretty poor. Certainly this year's been pretty testing personally. We just can't take a trick."
Of that kick, the only blemish in a golden season with the boot that has netted 31 NRL goals from 35 attempts (88.5 per cent) - with his first miss not coming until round 12 - Thurston just shakes his head.
"It was shattering. It hurts. I don't know what I was thinking. Clearly I wasn't thinking," he said.
"It was a simple stuff-up. The most disappointing part about it is, that's your moment to shine.
"That's what you play the game for, when you're in that tackle, it's your time to do your job.
"That kick was my time to win us the game. I didn't put the ball out there far enough. That's what hurts."