THE seminal moment for Paul Gallen came with six minutes left in last year's Origin decider, but the damage to his groin was done 10 minutes earlier.
He knew what had happened. That's not a twinge. That's not a strain. That's a tear.
"I was in that much pain," recalls the NSW captain. "But I just kept battling through."
Then came the moment that Gallen insists cannot happen again if NSW are to break out of this Queensland death roll.
He's been catching replays of Cooper Cronk's 41m, series-winning field goal with 74 minutes and 20 seconds on the clock.
The rear-end shot from ground level he keeps seeing is the one that highlights it best: the captain sprinting up with his hands in the air, desperately trying to stop the kick. He's the only NSW player who comes near it.
The anguish on his face, contrasted with the look of adulation on Cronk's, explains everything.
"That's something we will have to talk about," Gallen says. "I thought we should've had more guys putting pressure on him. I've seen the rear-end view. It's like a golf shot. It skews left and then went that far (he indicates about half a foot) from under my arm. I remember sprinting out trying to get to him. My groin was that sore."
Then Gallen says: "I have to be honest, I've never been more exhausted after a game. I put everything into it. I was in pain and exhausted when it was over."
Rewind a few months and it would have surprised to hear Gallen trawling over old Origin ground and missed opportunities. It would have surprised to hear Gallen talking at all.
The street corner tip was the drug crisis that has engulfed the Sharks would have also sucked up the skipper. He hasn't come out the other side, but at least he's still standing.
"He had the most to lose," offers Sharks coach Shane Flanagan. "The way things were translated to the players ... there has been that much misinformation out there, and unfortunately a lot of people were going to Gal for the answers; younger players and groups of players, and he was just as confused as anyone else. And just as rattled. It was a really tough time for him at the start of the year."
Whatever happened at Cronulla under the 11-week regime of sports scientist Stephen Dank in 2011, whether the Kavanagh Report into the use of prohibited peptides is proven or not, so much remains in dispute.
The stalemate between Sharks players and ASADA does not look like breaking any time soon.
What cannot be questioned is the heartache it has caused Gallen, because it hit him harder than anyone else.
"I've had some controversy and tough times over my career, but this one's been very hard," Gallen says. "What's happened in the past has been individual and of my doing, where this one is out of my control and it affects the whole club.
"We can't control any of it. It was real disappointing, the way they (former board) handled it. Everyone knows how badly they handled it. That's what was so disappointing for someone like me. I'd been there so long, and done everything for the club, to see how it was coming apart internally was pretty disappointing. You look at other clubs - like Manly - they stuck solid."
Indeed, Gallen and Flanagan have been the pillars of a side being rebuilt.
Flanagan has reminded Gallen in the past just how much of an influence he's had on the Sharks, which have lurched from season to season for decades under the cloud of financial uncertainty.
Says Gallen: "Flanno's said to me, 'Mate, if we didn't have you we wouldn't have any of these players here'. I remember Wade Graham said, 'I only came here because of you'. I remember when Luke Lewis phoned me and said: 'I want to come and play with you'. I started laughing, because we all know Lewy can talk ****. I said, 'You've got a five-year contract for a million a year'. He said, 'Nah, I want to come and play with you'."
Whether it is the Sharks, NSW or Australia, they don't want to play alongside Gallen for what he says. It's what he does.
He's copped flak from some Cronulla supporters for not playing against Souths last Monday night because of his knee injury. They believe he has put state ahead of club.
Those supporters didn't see him a fortnight ago on his day off, boxing 10 rounds against a production line of fighters - including UFC fighter Manny Rodriguez - to keep his fitness up.
That image conflicts with the well-established belief that Gallen does not train during the week but will then clock up 80 minutes on the field, whether he's playing at lock or in the front row, for club, state or country.
Ask him if it's a myth that he fears training, wanting to conserve it all for game day, he says: "I haven't missed a session this year. At the back end of last year, I didn't train. That was true."
You're not even paranoid about injury? Just a bit?
"Nah, but I'm really over the top with my preparation in what I do to get myself better. I think that's good, because I do everything I can to play every week. If you ask the doctors and the physio, I'm a pain in the arse to them. I want physio three times a day and want the doctor to do whatever it takes to get back on the field. I'm over the top, but I don't think that's a bad thing."
Before the match against Newcastle in round nine, Gallen was chatting to Knights skipper Kurt Gidley a few hours beforehand.
"I'm trying to get this rig right," Gidley said, referring to his equally injury-riddled body. "How are you?"
"I've been good," Gallen said. "Haven't missed a session."
Then Gallen suffered the knee injury that sidelined him for a month and means he goes into this Origin without any football under him.
NSW coach Laurie Daley has slotted him into the front-row, despite Gallen publicly stating he would prefer to play lock, and the chances of him playing a full match are slim.
That's the plan, anyway.
Gallen tells you he's comfortable about being benched. But in the cut and thrust of the game, things are different.
A few years ago, this journalist sat right behind the NSW bench for an Origin dead rubber. When then-coach Craig Bellamy benched Gallen in the first half, the player wore the look of a cranky Tony Soprano about to wrap a pool cue around someone's head.
During a match between the Sharks and Titans last season, Flanagan tried to give his captain a rest towards the end.
Gallen's message, via the trainer, can't be repeated in a family newspaper. A minute later, he scored under the posts.
"Subbing him can be in our plans during the week, but when it happens it all changes," grins Flanagan. "I will say, 'I'll give you a spell before halftime' and it's a good idea. Then the message goes out and one comes back: 'Tell him to get f...ked'."
Gallen laughs when you mention this to him. "He hasn't taken me off this year, so I don't know what he's talking about."
