Well, I’m glad you asked.
Recently my video doorbell has been detecting motion around 11 PM. When I bring up the vision, there is a furry black and white creature with a bushy tail captured in the still. Once I go live it is gone.
Approximately 5 AM there is a kind of thud upon my roof tiles, followed by a scurrying sound of footsteps. The sound of the steps indicate something that is not human. They are too light, and sound as if there were 4 feet.
It was clear what had to be done.
I secured the alcohol and cannabis. Made a lasagne. Biding my time for the Amazon Prime sales. Forty Seven per cent off! I got 35 cameras to surveil my property.
More alerts of motion on cameras. The same furry black-and-white little ****er. I studied his patterns. Day and night. Night and day. I took a ****, admired last night’s dinner and then it came to me… Seeing that turd so perfectly being encapsulated and trapped – I was on the hunt!
I referred to my knowledge of studying this little pricks movement. Strategically, I placed traps. Nothing for a while other than motion detection alerts. Then early one morning, about 5:15 AM, I hear it. The snap of a trap door closing below the fig tree outside and a little sound that would translate to “what the ****?! Oh ****!”.
Long story short, it was a leprechaun in a possum costume. But we drank some Jamieson and he told me the lock position was JC’s to lose.